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We Are What We Are - 2013 - 5/10

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Marketed as a horror film, though it really isn’t (unless you are a vegan).
Very private family, living in a tiny Catskill community, fasts during the weekend.
They are waiting for Lambs Day, a celebration of their own, peculiar religion.
Constant rains and flooding make everything difficult, and early on, the mother, clearly ill, drops dead in a ditch.
The two daughters have to carry on with tradition.
Dark, dreary mood piece, lacking gushers for gorehounds.
Viewers of a certain age will recognize Michael Parks as suspicious village doctor.
Barely recognizable Kelly McGillis, Cruise’s hot babe in Top Gun, plays trailer park neighbor.

Edited by Vultural

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Rampo - 1994 - 8/10
AKA: The Mystery Of Rampo

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Wonderful Japanese arthouse/mystery/detective/erotic/D: all of the above.
Knowledgeable viewers will note Rampo, as in Edogawa Rampo, and anticipate a wild ride.
Film opens as pre WWII official censors Rampo’s latest story (wife smothers invalid husband) as subversive.   
Rampo’s agent, points out actual news article of woman whose husband died in exact manner as story.
The writer investigates, stalks, imagines a new story, merging fantasy with reality in the process.
Eventually his alter-ego, Detective Akechi, takes over and trails the woman to the castle of a mad marquis.
Lush score, gorgeous costumes, fabulous sets.  Brilliant film that is constantly inventive and imaginative.

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Note:  Available on laserdisc and DVD, but both have issues.
Video on LD is soft, and few modern screens support S-cable for better resolution.
Subs on LD, however, were minimal and matched the theatrical release.
The DVD was over-subbed, so one winds up constantly reading, rather than feasting on images.
Hopefully, this gets remastered for a 20th anniversary.

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Trick R Treat - 2007 - 6/10

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One of the better films focusing on Halloween, specifically trick or treating.
Four separate narratives interweaving back and forth.
All themes struck:  monsters, curses, murders, costumes, sex.
Suspicious neighbors, annoying children, horny teenagers, bickering couples.
Funny, punctuated with violence that explodes from nowhere.

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Baise Moi - 2000 - 6/10

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No holds barred French rage flick as two abused hookers barrel into crime spree.
Sleazy, graphic, repellent to many.
Violent robberies, counterbalanced with lulls featuring hardcore sex.  Leads were porn actresses.
Sensitive male viewers, be warned, gun fire targets the crotch.
A fun film?  Hardly.
You want a “road movie” with nasty souls, enduring an ugly world, with no sense of humanity?
Dial 'er up.

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Don Jon - 2013 - 5/10

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Poor Jon, decisions, decisions.
Whether to slide the sausage into an endless feast of voluptuous club girls, or whank the weasel while watching online porn, with no yakking afterwards.
First third of this jewel was mercilessly funny.
Then hero Jon drifted into - aarrgghh - relationship with smokin’ hot, gum chompin’ Scarlett.
From relationship into redemption. Wasted moment of what could have been a fratboy classic.

I made a comment about a repeated scene and drew howls from the whole room.
Consider yourself warned.
Every time he concludes an online “moment” he grabs a tissue (Kleenex, Scotties, Puffs, whatever).
Next, the wad rattles into a metal wastebasket.
“Hey,” I said, “no tissue would make that noise. What did he do, wait till it dried hard?”

Edited by Vultural

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Dear Vultural,

Many thanks for your personal review and the way you present them.

Some movies are known to me, others not.

I like your reviews, keep them coming|

 

regards,

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The Armstrong Lie - 2013 - 7/10

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Focused documentary on cyclist Lance Armstrong and the substance use denial.
Scant in the way of in-depth biography - marriages, kids, friends, nada.  Couple of stills of him with his single mom.
When he arrived on the cycling scene, doping was prevalent.  Indeed, cycling in general suffers a long, sorry history of cheats and frauds.
Nowadays, the money incentives are staggering.  Few athletes - of any sport - remotely resemble normal humans.
All professional sports seem to be as real as wrestling.
I never liked Armstrong, though I empathized with his situation.  Had he not joined all other contestants in steroids and blood tweaking, Lance would have been no one, another Damien Nazon.

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Cry Danger - 1951 - 6/10

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Solid B-film Noir with Dick Powell, William Conrad, Rhonda Fleming.
Lifer Powell released from the big house after five years.
He was the driver in a robbery, but caught the rap for the actual job.
Once out, he starts kicking the big dogs, demanding half the dough for his trouble.
The plot sours.
Film packed with hard men, fast broads, and dialogue drenched in acid.
Brisk 79 minutes.

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Good Ol’ Freda - 2013 - 6/10

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Feel good movie about one of the forgotten inner-circle members of The Beatles entourage.
Freda Kelly, Brian Epstein’s secretary and head of the official fan club.
What secrets Freda knows, she keeps.  This is not the doc for dirt or scandal.
Shows her early introduction to group via the Cavern Club, getting the job offer, being accepted by individual Beatles as well as their families.
Vintage photos, different speakers.  Perhaps better for older Beatles fans, especially fan club members.

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Hannah Arendt - 2012 - 7/10

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Narrow bio-pic of philosopher, focusing on her New Yorker essays on the Eichman trial.
Her opinion that Eichman was a mere functionary of the Nazis.  At once, a non-thinking paper pusher, as well as the necessary machinery involved in the Holocaust.
Howls of protest erupted, as victims preferred a face of pure evil.
Her thoughts regarding the culpability of Jewish leaders in Europe bearing responsibility for their part in cooperation brought even more fury.
Friends abandoned her, school administrators attempted to curtail her classes, a Mossad unit “visited.”
Quiet, chilling film.  Subtitles are a must, as dialogue shifts from English to German to Hebrew.

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Innkeepers - 2011 - 5/10

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Last days of famed New England inn/hotel.  Only a few rooms are rented, and a two person skeleton staff tag-team seven hour shifts.
They also spend free time searching for the famous ghost, said to haunt the premises.
I watched the female desk clerk huff her inhaler twice in fifteen minutes.  Straight off, I figure,  “you in trouble, girlfriend.”
Barely recognizable Kelly McGillis (above), Cruise’s hot babe in Top Gun, plays late arriving, ex-actress, now occult dabbler.
Competent low budget production, though predictable and slow paced.

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Only Lovers Left Alive - 2013 - 7/10

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My bride phoned from the library, vampire movie in hand.  John Hurt, Tilda Swinton.
Sure, get it, I said.  I flipped the box when she brought it home and,
Jim Jarmusch!  Oh, no!
Film not as self-indulgent or pretentious as feared.
Story of two intellectual vampires, enduring the centuries.
Dreamy, drowsy, slow paced, filmed in nighttime Tangier and Detroit.
Film raises several points, one being the dire consequences of tainted blood.
Dark irony of the food supply being so self destructive.
Definitely worth chasing down, but it is lethargic and demands patience and concentration.

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Ring Virus - 1999 - 5/10

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Korean remake of J-Horror classic.
Watching cursed VHS tape leads to death in seven days.
This version filmed matter-of-fact, audio mix not very detailed.
The two protagonists were older, and unrelated.
Several sequences relied on viewer familiarity with the original.  Such as the young child explaining who “told her” to act accordingly.  Also, why the male protagonist, in this case a flawed surgeon, was drawn into the mystery to begin with.
Marketing claims aside, K version is not the “scariest version of them all."
Worth a view, but does not eclipse the original.

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Ringu - 1998 - 8/10

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Watershed moment for dead wet girls everywhere.
After her niece mysteriously dies, her aunt (reporter) hears whispers of the cursed VHS.
Discovers similar deaths of other students.  Enlists her ex (estranged) husband to help.  He has psychic abilities.
Immaculate composition throughout - every scene balanced and beautifully arranged.
Terrific sound editing, as well.  From moody score, to disconcerting effects in rear speakers.
Narrative at once enigmatic and logical.  A terrific after hours film, with all distractions switched off.
Launched numerous remakes and sequels, all inferior.

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In The Realms Of The Unreal - 2004 - 7/10

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Documentary on Henry Darger, janitor and outsider artist.
After he was shifted to hospital, where he died, Darger’s 15000 page, illustrated novel was discovered in flat.
Obsessions play out across the pages, tracking his fantasy kingdom heroines, the Vivian girls, and the atrocities of the child slave wars.

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Film told in voiceovers from actors and people who knew Darger.
Fascinating from start to finish, though shifting back and forth from Darger to his art, creates a documentary of halves and neither is fully satisfying.  For all the drawings shown, I still wanted more.

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Backfire - 1950 - 5/10

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More appropriate title might have been “Misfire”.
Ex-G I about to be released from vet hospital, plans to run ranch with foxhole buddy.
Middle of the night, a mysterious woman visits his bed and warns same friend is in trouble.
Fine noir cast (Dane Clark, Edmund O’Brien, Ed Begley) struggle with poor script and clunky direction.
When the G I exits hospital, hot nurse invites him to dinner, then to her place.
“No, no, I gotta find my buddy, Steve!”
All wrong.

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City Island - 2009 - 6/10

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“New York" yarn of prison guard, who sees the son of abandoned girlfriend during lockup rounds.
Signs the release papers so con can help remodel his outdoor work shack.
Does not inform “son" or anyone else of kinship.
Introduce wife, daughter, son.  Everyone has their secrets.  PG secrets.
Feel-good time waster, not too unbelievable.  Attractive looking cast.
Film might be too Bronx for many, though.

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Snow White And The Huntsman - 2012 - 6/10

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Grabbed this from shelf with low expectations.
First thirty minutes were surprisingly enjoyable and raised my hopes.
Dark version has roots in 1997‘s Tale Of Terror rather than the Disney songfest.
Theron gives layered performance as malevolent Ravenna.
Incredible costumes well thought set design.  Film undercut, however, by the director unable to cut the unnecessary and the distracting.
Useless comic relief, and a faerie sequence that is fey, dopey, and aimed at four year olds.

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Lies & Alibis - 2006 - 6/10
AKA - Alibis

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Confidence sting in new clothes.
Steve Coogen helps cheatin’ husbands, cheatin’ wives.
Big money to be made in saving adulterous marriages from divorce lawyers.
When a younger client treats his rough trade girlfriend a little too rough, stories and alibis fire up.
Entire cast uniformly excellent in droll comedy.
Sam Elliott memorable as seething Mormon hitman.

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Skirt Day - 2008 - 5/10
AKA: La journée de la jupe

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Manipulative French drama of overwrought teacher in schoolroom Hell.
Students mouth off, bully, grope, text, heckle, anything but learn.
No expulsions, probations, or accountability.
During a scuffle a gun falls from a bag, and she seizes that and force feeds the class “lessons.”
Despite outside reporters and SWAT team, the film felt stagey.  Like a one set play with monologues.
Male students awfully large and menacing, and there seemed to be an anti-Islamic undercurrent.

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