Recommend a movie

[Vultural]

Broadway Bad - 1933 - 6/10

Lopsided Pre-Code film starring Joan Blondell.
First half is showgirls in lingerie, risqué humor, nightclubs, rich sharks.
Second half money and lawyers and babies.  Wahhh!
Ginger Rogers costars as loyal friend.

[Vultural]

Enter Nowhere - 2011 - 6/10

Judged harshly by the Horror crowd, Enter Nowhere more resembles a lost episode of The Twilight Zone.
During the height of the opening convenience store hold up, the scene cuts to a stranded woman in the forest.
Eventually, the strangers number three.  They walk for hours, and end up back at a derelict shack.
There is no easy way out of the forest.  Food is running out when they start comparing stories, and secrets.
An indie thriller with nice twists.  Horror teenagers got mad because there was no gore, no T n A.
There was an Eastwood, however.

[Vultural]

Late August, Early September - 1998 - 7/10
AKA - Fin Août, Début Septembre

French drama follows a group of friends as they, more or less, relate to each other and to the ailing writer in the center of their midst.
Gabriel breaks up with Jenny who, nevertheless, wants him back even though he is in a relationship with Anne.
These are creative types - artists, writers, designers, publishers - who form an unrelated family.
Most seem constantly broke, yet dine out frequently and wear nice clothes.
Characters are supposedly young adults maturing, but many are too old to be believable.
Very talky, and little seems to get accomplished all around, though fans of French cinema are used to this.
Whether you enjoy might depend on personal taste and if you can relate.
I actually belong to one of those “unrelated families” so it was easy to identify.
Note the date:  The whole publishing angle - actual books and readers - strikes me as long, long ago now.

[Vultural]

Maps To The Stars - 2014 - 6/10

David Cronenberg alert!
What begins as a dish-the-dirt, Hollywood insider yarn veers into the realm of the preposterous.
Wayward daughter - onetime firebug - returns home after living in a “controlled environment” for a decade owing to a trifling incident with matches.
Brother is a successful actor, supposedly drug free, although he is insecure and suffers testosterone overload.
Dad writes crap books and coaches a fading actress whose mom perished in a fire.
Wait a minute!  Could it be?
No, you’re only getting halfway in this over-the-top nonsense.
Talented cast (Julianne Moore, John Cusak, Mia Wasikowska ... ) backstabs, whines, begs, lies, and much worse in dreary puzzle spiral.  Animal lovers - beware.
Creators ought have have let Robert Crumb write the draft.  He would have gone full bore bonkers and this would have been entertainment sleaze, rather than seamy titillation.
Got the feeling Cronenberg has some ideas, but is running out of vocabulary to express them.

[Vultural]

Sleeping Beauty - 2011 - 5/10

Somnambulant, artsy excuse for soft core nudity.
College student, working three jobs, decides to work at exclusive dinner parties.
From there, she opts for drugged sleep, allowing wrinkled and bony old men to embrace.
Slow paced and pretentious, with no understanding of character motivations.
I am convinced this is based on Kawabata's novel, House Of Sleeping Beauties, but have found no mention of that.

[Vultural]

Manhunt Of Mystery Island - 1945 - 6/10

Republic serial.
The villain kidnaps two scientists to build him a device to control unlimited planetary energy through radium.
Lance, the lunkheaded hero, could take a punch; he got a pounding every episode.
Luckily Linda Stirling was in the cast to bail him out, or shoot a handful of baddies d-e-a-d.
Fights were better than most because the chief henchman was Kenne Duncan, who was a specialist in leaping, flying though the air fisticuffs.
The head baddie goes by Captain Mephisto, and he has a magic, electrical chair (fan behind that sprays sparks).
With the chair he can transform his features into anyone he chooses.
Does he pick President, movie star, four star general?
Nooo!  He opts for the pirate look:  tattoo, cutlass, big hat, face scars.

[Vultural]

Une Belle Fille Comme Moi - 1972 - 6/10
AKA - A Gorgeous Girl Like Me

Sociologist decides to write his thesis about jailbird, Camille, convicted of murdering at least two men.
She demands her banjo (to polish her nonexistent singing prowess) and she wants fresh nuts since the prison does not provide.
Sociologist is soon in over his depth as Camille’s lies, eyes, thighs and absurd stories befuddle him.
Frothy Truffaut comedy studded with nonsensical situations, foolish males who follow their wands, and a fast talking sorceress who offers petals freely yet takes and takes.

At one point Camille is handling four different men, putting the squeeze on each of them.
Funny, sexy, beguiling satire of the femme fatale.
The same actress played a bitter, vengeful vixen in 1969s La Fiancée du Pirate, but this is much more fun.

[Vultural]

A Bird Of The Air - 2011 - 6/10

A parrot flies through Lyman's open trailer door and into his life.
He works midnight shift as rescue patrol on deserted New Mexico highways.
He was also an orphan, with no idea of his parents, background, history.
With the aid of a perky librarian (aren't they all), he begins to track the bird's previous owners, trying to solve one mysterious beginning to compensate for his own.
Quirky love story, comedy, character study.

[Vultural]

A Long Way Down - 2014 - 6/10

Film launches with a disgraced television presenter preparing to jump from a towering building.  A woman glides behind him, asking if he will be long.  She’s in a hurry to leap.  Next, another female.  Then a guy.  You get the picture.  On New Years Eve, no less, and no one is carrying bubbly.  No wonder they are depressed.
With group suicide as a beginning, how far down can it go?
Start asking yourself questions: Could these character become unlikely friends?
Will they realize their miserable lives aren’t so miserable after all?
Will fun and laughter start creeping into their lives?
Large name cast wisecracks Nick Hornby’s feel-good novel.
Need an adult happy pill?  Check this one.

[Vultural]

Houdini: Unlocking The Mystery - 2009 - 7/10

Excellent documentary of Harry Houdini, featuring many magicians.
Vintage newsreels, as well as clips from many of his movies.
What amazed me was the producers unearthed one of his final assistants (Dorothy Young, who died in 2011, aged 103).
Film intercut with auction proceedings of memorabilia.

[Vultural]

Corridor Of Mirrors - 1948 - 6/10

Surreal, dreamlike, hypnotic film, set mostly in a gargantuan house (think TARDIS interior).
Gay young thing meets reclusive, mysterious man at swank club.
Their affair borders on obsession, climaxing in a decadent 14th Century Venetian masquerade.
Great use of sets, shadows, atmospheric music, and Madame Tussaud's.

[Vultural]

Manson Family Vacation - 2015 - 6/10

Artistic, unemployed brother crashes with more successful attorney brother for a few days.
“Hey, while I’m in the neighborhood,”  he suggests, “do you wanna check out homes of Manson murders?”
There’s the premise.
Viewers best expect creepy crawl.
Film begins in uncomfortable territory, yet the aim does not hold true.
Narrative gradually curves into an unexpected, and rather refreshing direction.
Note the title, note the subject matter.
Do not wander into this if you have qualms or get squeamish about outsiders.

[Vultural]

Matango - 1963 - 7/10
AKA - Attack Of The Mushroom People

 Seven went a'sailing and encountered heavy storms.

They wound up stranded on a deserted isle in the middle of nowhere.
Only it was not so deserted.
Classic horror film (tame today) with anti-drug subtext, hints of cold war experiments, nuclear fallout, Lord Of The Flies, ...
As starvation clamps down, food choices narrow to forest mushrooms.
Color film, but as black and white it is far creepier.

[Vultural]

Le Vent de la Nuit - 1999 - 3/10
AKA:  Night Wind

Pretentious French twaddle with Catherine Deneuve and Xavier Beauvois.
Deneuve having affair with younger man, because she is bored, or dead inside.
The young man describes himself as an artist, when he is not even an assistant.
Then there's a 60s burnout.
Tedious slog with stagnant pond characters. Given an extra star because Deneuve remains attractive.

[Vultural]

Burt’s Buzz - 2013 - 6/10

Documentary about elderly Burt Shavitz, co-founder of Burt’s Bees product line.
Featherweight across the board, simply because this man talks little  and while his story is mildly interesting, it is hardly compelling.
Suffice to say and fellow hippie female friend started selling beeswax candles, lip balm, novelties, up in Maine in the 80s.  His backwoods, bearded image was used as logo and namesake.
Company enjoyed incredible success, Burt was bored, sold out for a trifle.
Don’t know whether to praise filmmakers for trying to make him appear entertaining, or to blame them for casting him as a taciturn, slow thinking old man.
Shavitz died in 2015, by the way.

[Vultural]

Hooligans - Untold Story - 2006 - 7/10

Documentary of the 2006 World Cup, set in Germany.
Security types keep 3000 troublemakers from arriving.
That ought to cover everyone, right?
Riots, brawls, fights, melees.
And bars never stopped serving beer, even amidst flying chairs.
Rumble!

[Vultural]

Man Up - 2015 - 7/10

Well done British romantic comedy scores all around.
Jaded, relationship failures “meet cute” then have the great first night date.
Go figure.
They down multiple shots, strike at a bowling alley (are there even lanes in London?), quarrel, bond, deceive, lie.
And yes, deception lurks at the core of this comedy.
Points for using fairly unglamorous leads, kicking them into cringe situations.
Points for positive portrayals of Millennials, not cast as self-absorbed, delusional twats.
Feel good material, with melancholy undercurrent.

Possibly rated this higher than it deserves because the other suggested title was the ghastly Sex In The City 2.

[Vultural]

Q (AKA: Desire) - 2012 - 3/10 or 8/10 take your pick.

French soft core nonsense.
Film opened in the ladies' showers with a parade of female nudity.
Enter Cecile, chief conflict instigator, and magnet for males hopping the three peg hokey pokey.
Desired by many, Cecile generally said oui.
Multiple pairings, bangings and bouncings.  Accompanied by a lot of crying.
Tears and sobs, emotional basket cases all.
If you are telling friends you are a connoisseur of pretentious erotic twaddle, Q is a prime example.
Otherwise, stick with Lesbian Spank Inferno.

[Vultural]

Cinderella - 1977 - 4/10

Good natured porn musical from the Golden Era, starring Cheryl 'Rainbeaux' Smith (Caged Heat, Revenge Of The Cheerleaders).
Lots of jokes (mostly terrible). Costumes. Musical numbers - yes, this was a musical! Songs were awful.
At least the thespians looked like they were enjoying themselves, whereas current porn acrobats often appear to be suffering difficult bowel movements.
Not only did the Fairy Godmother give Cinderella a fancy gown and horse & carriage, but her velvet temple was transformed into a "snapper."
Drove the Prince into immediate addiction, so that he scoured the Kingdom and banged all eager beaver types in his snappy quest.
An altogether bad film, compensated with a lot of heart.

[Vultural]

Plastic - 2014 - 4/10

Expected disappointment with this one, and duly received.
Caper heist with cardboard characters, plot holes an eight year old could spot, useless scenery, MOR tunes.
UK con men quartet get in trouble with small time Eastern European boss and his two thugs.
Yep, four good guys vs three villains.  Guys, get some handguns, target practice, and press in foreheads.
Too easy.
Besides, the supposed good guys - who steal credit cards and rip off innocent users - are all naive 20 year olds.
Still, in less than two weeks they work out how to heist $2 M, vacation in Miami, hire a private jet!!
So smart, so clever, so special.
Despite arguments, colossal errors, wayward romance, “the plan” unfolds.
Predictable - boring - with contempt for viewer IQ.

I keep hoping.  First time I heard of the Gilbey brothers was Rise Of The Footsoldier, a cracking good mobster flick.  Firm member becomes enforcer then accumulates power.  Damn good film.
Next, A Lonely Place To Die with stupid, baked-potatoes-for-brains, hikers stumbling across kidnapping plot.  Every character had zero common sense and negative likability.
Plastic is yet another step down into comatose creativity.
Guy Ritchie without style, without intelligence.