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[Vultural]

Raiders Trio - Three Fanedits of Raiders Of The Lost Ark

Three different reedits of the 1981 classic, Raiders Of The Lost Ark.
All are easy enough to find, but I will provide a couple signposts.
You already know if interested.

Raiders Of The Lost Ark - The Serial  by Roger Rmjet - 6/10

Reworking Raiders Of The Lost Ark into a chapter serial.  Appropriate since the Indiana Jones trilogy, particularly the first movie, was a crackling, state of the art homage to vintage Republic and Universal cliffhangers.

An older edit, video quality is not up to current fanedit standards.  Editing is choppy with quick fades and abrupt transitions.  Opening credits are excellent with rousing action and adventure and a white steed.  Recaps faithful and concise.  Closing titles ought to have mirrored the intros with something akin to,  “Will Indy survive the ...” or “What danger awaits ...”

Serials have basic rules and guidelines, though, and those were either ignored or not attempted.
Straight off:  Where are chapter ending cliffhangers?  Most of the endings here are not compelling.  There is no sense of danger, let alone death.  Also missing are the bane of serials - the cheats.  Fans scream at those, but they are expected and enjoyably irritating.

I readily appreciate and applaud what was attempted here.  To me, this is a solid, really solid, rough draft.

 

* * *

Raiders by Steven Soderbergh - 6/10

Yes, that Steven Soderbergh.  He has done several of these since “retiring” from directing.  Strikes me as over qualified.  He has also remained aloof from the fanedit community or is incognito.

The adventure classic gets a sonic overhaul.  All audio - dialogue, music soundtrack, sound effects - gets wiped.  In essence, Raiders is a Silent.  This is so viewers can concentrate on the visual design without being distracted.  The editor does tack on a very distracting film score, however.

Image is glorious black n white, razor sharp.  High contrast.  Interiors have that deep black, Noir look.  No editing or rearranging, though.  As has been noted before, Raiders plays well in black n white.  

For audio, Mr. Soderbergh selected music tracks from Trent Reznor scores “The Social Network" and “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.”  At times, cues match the tone or tempo of the video narrative - other times the music is jarringly amiss.  My feeling is he fired up his favorite tracks without considering how appropriate they would be.

Mr. Soderbergh likely has access to state of the art audio editing equipment, or computer software.  He could have easily tinkered with his musical cues so they matched the screen narrative.  No rearranging of narrative.

Available on Mr. Soderberg’s site - extension765 - in decent quality mp4.

 

* * *

Raiding The Lost Ark by Jamie Benning - 8/10

Labour of love by Jamie Benning and must see for Indiana Jones fans.  Imaginative blending of Raiders real-time footage with interviews from numerous sources, as well as pop up comments and screen comparisons.  Storyboards, outtakes, as well as home movies used.  The documentary is dense with information and may necessitate multiple viewings.  The edit itself is incredibly well executed, it feels seamless.

Currently available on Vimeo in several resolutions and I would urge the viewer to seek the highest level possible.   Image quality is all over the scale, depending on source materials.  Outtakes are often fuzzy, production or home movies are passable.  Editing is skillful throughout, and there is strict adherence to chronological sequence.

No subs, though there are fact pop ups during the entire doc.  Preference given to voiceovers.  Quality varies, though everyone is comprehendible.  Possible exception being Harrison Ford, especially the later interviews.  His voice does not always seem properly miked or he mumbles.  Not a major issue.

Generous wealth of details, untold stories, missing scenes to thrill all fans.  Two lost details come to mind:

1) Early on, after Dr. René Belloq gets the gold fertility statue, the Hovitos take it away from him.
2) When Indy and Sallah consult the imam, he warns them not to touch the actual ark, nor to open their eyes if it is opened.

Truly a wonderful companion to your DVD.

[Vultural]

Incident - 1948 - 5/10

Often categorized as Noir, this low-rent effort is not.
Cheap budget, poor sets, women with bad perms, men with empty heads.
Poverty Row, B-mystery all the way.
Man misses late bus and decides to walk home.
In a case of mistaken identity, he is mugged and beaten, but not robbed.
Later that week, he decides to find out who beat him up, who hired that guy, and who the intended victim was.
Yes, IQ of a sandwich.
Along the way he meets an intriguing female who keeps a few secrets.
Time waster.  There are easily 643 better Noirs out there.

[Vultural]

The Black Widow - 1947 - 6/10

A fun serial from Republic, and a rather subversive one.
Usual nonsense about an evil potentate ordering his daughter to steal a rocket to rule the world ...
The "smartest guy" was not the manly hero. No, it was Sombra, the Black Widow (played by the deliciously slinky Carol Forman), leading her henchmen, devising strategies, overcoming police and Feds.

Bit by bit, she steals the parts and eludes capture.
The police put in charge a writer!  Ha ha, that's right, a writer of detective stories.
I guess producers did not want to stoop all the way down to using an English major.
He is assigned a female reporter.  Typical of the period, he constantly condescends and belittles her.  Episode after episode, he gets trapped or overpowered, and she's the one who comes to his rescue.
Viewed over several weeks, amusing fare.

[Vultural]

Building Jerusalem - 2015 - 6/10

Static documentary about the lead up to the 2003 Rugby World Cup.
Rugby - not Football (Soccer for Americans) - but the more rough n tumble Rugby.
2003 was the year England fielded a strong, albeit aging, lineup and it was their best chance to advance in the tournament against the dominant clubs in the Southern hemisphere.
The film seems for the more knowledgeable.  The game is not explained, scoring is a mystery, and one sees training though not strategy.
Enjoyable as a curiosity, true fans may appreciate more.

[Vultural]

Copie Conforme - 2010 - 7/10
AKA - Certified Copy

Confusing, talky French movie set in Tuscany.
A couple meet at a book lecture, then go on a small road trip. At a coffee shop, all points of reference shift.
Dense film, packed with mysteries and revelations. Questions whether a copy is equal to an original, or superior?
Deliberately composed to be misleading - for example - does the couple know each other?
Is a sham relationship better than a failing one?
In French, English and Italian.
Juliette Binoche stars.  Gorgeous scenery. Definite arthouse fare.

[Vultural]

Cop Hater - 1958 - 7/10

Late entry in Noir genre is a grimy, sweaty hunt for a cop killer.
Dialogue stilted initially, though one grows accustomed to it.  Based on an Ed McBain novel.  (For ripe pulp prose, track down episodes of “Broadway Is My Beat,” OTR from the 50s.)
From the look of the barely clad females, air conditioning had not been invented yet.
Hot summer, lingerie cheesecake cooling in front of open blade fans.
Many picture compositions appear yanked off detective paperbacks.

The precinct knuckles down, slaps suspects, cuts deals.  Sensitive, good-guy cops, no.
Robert Loggia is the main star.  Look for a young Jerry Orbach (Law & Order) as delinquent gang leader.

Film simmers and boils into a bruising finish with twist ending.
Sleazy, enjoyable trash.

[Vultural]

Piranha 3DD - 2011 - 5/10

Wheee!
Highly anticipated follow-up to the masterpiece that was Piranha 3D.
Lake Victoria might have been infested, but a nearby lake ramps up as the new wet n wonderful party place.
As any horror aficionado knows, piranhas can always navigate underground tunnels and passages to find new eating places.
This film lacked the budget of the earlier film, but producers compensated by adding hundred of girls.  Plenty are topless, a fair share naked.
That DD in the title does not indicate battery sizes, either.

Couple of plot problems.  Why were those two guys hunting dead cows in the lake early on?
Then there's the girl who somehow gets a fish up her ... umm ... in the Temple Of Happiness.
When her boyfriend bypasses temple columns with his ... Moisture Detector ... then the piranha bites and latches on like a starving man onto a stale hot dog.  I mean ... how come she never knew about that fish?
The young actors were adequate enough.  Subtle and nuanced roles were reserved for the big talent.
Gary Busey - Christopher Lloyd - Ving Rhames - David Hasselhoff.
Hasselhoff even sings!
Who were listed as producers?  Why, those arthouse auteurs - Bob and Harvey Weinstein.
Don't miss closing credits.

Note:  I gave this 5, but could have easily docked it 3 for silliness and stupidity.  Likewise, could have just as easily boosted it 3 for silliness and stupidity.

[Vultural]

Peindre ou Faire l'amour - 2005 - 5/10
AKA - To Paint Or Make Love

Guy retires, lives in the city, worries about getting bored.
His girlfriend, out one afternoon painting in rural oblivion, is approached by the blind mayor and given a tour of a house for sale.
Next beat, the guy and his girlfriend buy deserted pastures manor and move to the woodlands.
In other films, this would be slasher setup.  Not here.
The pair befriend the mayor, his girlfriend, and, for reasons unexplained to viewers, lose their moral compass.
As in, they become “swingers,” mostly one gathers, because they suffer ennui.
Sorta like the energy they put into their performances.
Anyway, attractive visitors soon appear and disrobe.  Yes, start thinking of prospects in the Ozarks, or Everglades, or Outback, or Yorkshire in winter.  Move yourself to Provence for more appetizing riders.
Well photographed, pretentious fantasy.

[Vultural]

Cheri - 2009 - 5/10

Michelle Pfeiffer stars as an aging Parisian courtesan (prostitute), who has lengthy affair with the 19 year old son of a rival.
Somewhat based on the novel by Collette, though the book focused on Cheri (the son) while the movie showcases Lea.
Glossy trash.

[Vultural]

Riot Club - 2014 - 6/10

Privileged toffs behaving very badly, indeed.
Not only are they rich, entitled, and destined for the best of everything,
but they get to urinate all over the lower orders.
At least they do in this film.
Supposedly based on the Burlington Club, the Riot Club originated after the death of Lord Ryot.
Film rings false as they would not book an evenings revelry in a bourgeois pub.
Nor would they hire a call girl who would balk.
Also, paparazzi and phone cams are ubiquitous nowadays.
Nevertheless, a choice film for conspiracy and Illuminati buffs.

[Vultural]

Gantz - 2010 - 6/10

Japanese Sci-Fi action film based on popular manga.
Recently deceased souls were revived by Gantz, a large black sphere, to eliminate aliens among us.
Aliens are at once ordinary and strange.
If combatants succeed, points are awarded. 100 points = return to living.  Dead combatants stay dead.
Followed by a sequel.

[Vultural]

Gantz: Perfect Answer - 2011 - 6/10

Not nearly as different or inventive as the first film, but the sequel reveals who is killing those "recently deceased," and why.
And what happened to combatants who were slain in battles.
More full on conflicts, with a highlight occurring in a high speed subway.
The rare sequel that provides resolution to the first movie.
Both Gantz flicks ought to be viewed as a pair.

[Vultural]

Mr. Holmes - 2015 - 6/10

Character study of the consulting detective played by the peerless Ian McKellen.
Holmes has survived friends and family, as well as WWI and WWII, which I find hard to swallow.
The brilliant mind, now into its 90s, struggles with dementia and confused memories.
Companions include housekeeper and her son, and a doctor who looks in on him.
Otherwise, he is a man who has outlived his time and lingers in an era that sweeps past.
I appreciated this movie more than I enjoyed it.
I am at the age where select neighbors and relatives collapse into confined rooms.
Not the most pleasant of reminders that this future will be mine sooner than later.
Film echoes earlier Robin And Marion (1976) which was rather depressing also.

[Vultural]

Carnage - 2011 - 6/10

Saw this first as local theatre production.  You know, drama?  Hated it.
Film version boasts big names:  Jodie Foster, Kate Winslet, John C Reilly, Christoph Waltz star. Roman Polanski directs.
Carnage remains a play set in one room, though.
Two sets of parents escalate the playground spat begun by their two boys.
Highly annoying. Jodie Foster's character was defensive and always had to have the last word. Waltz was on his cellphone more often than off.
If you like talky dramas, jump on this one.
Even after I finished a bottle of red it didn't get any better.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz ............

[Vultural]

Georgia O'Keefe - 2009 -  6/10

Biography of painter O'Keefe (Joan Allen) and husband Alfred Steiglitz (Jeremy Irons).
Well acted, well photographed, shifting from Manhattan to the Southwest desert.
Probably should have been a mini-series.
As shown, this seems more a sketch of mannerisms and greatest hits.

[Vultural]

Tightrope - 1984 - 7/10

Terrific, lesser known Eastwood vehicle, came out just the Callahan films were getting stale.
Seedy New Orleans locations enhance a rough procedural of detective chasing a serial killer.
Most of the victims work in what is now termed the sex industry.
Eastwood’s detective, a bruised, divorced father, is also drawn to kinky moments in cushioned, satin rooms.

Scenery loaded with eye candy, strip clubs, rough trade, oiled female wrestlers, dwarf referee, the half sandwich combo, handcuffs, vibrators, masks.
Cruelty abounds, however, and several of the slayings are distressing.
Much of the photography is at night or inside sporting houses.  VHS viewers used to complain how visually dark this is, but modern resolution screens will handle the blacks easier.

[Vultural]

Space Battleship Yamato - 2010 - 5/10

Wow, flashback to a bygone era.
Earth is being bombarded by hostile aliens using radioactive meteorites.
The hope for humanity lies with SB Yamato, which resembles a submarine meets aircraft carrier meets shark.
The cast overacts, spitting their lines in staccato outbursts which reminded me of the 60s era.
Fighter pilots participated in dismal CGI dogfights, while the bridge crew were parked at futuristic, 1984 type, consoles. The Captain was glued to his Laz-E Boy recliner.
Best of all, every single character was selfless, noble and heroic.
Just like real life.

[Vultural]

The Future - 2011 - 2/10

Depressing tale of two sad sack whiners.
Early on, they decide to adopt a terminally ill kitty.
They bounce working from one meaningless job to another, quietly complain, and wish they were more successful.
I suspect the writer/director was making a point about disconnection - or life's pointlessness - or souls without direction.
Utter failure on all fronts.
Both actors delivered lines in monotone, suggesting they were on Quaaludes, Prozac or Lithium.
By the end of the film, their characters had not advanced one iota, yet I had lost 90" of my life watching this lifeless poo poo.
And the terminally ill feline?  Mope mope mope.

[Vultural]

Hesher - 2010 - 6/10

Another downer.
Young boy grieves for mom, dad is depressed, grandma does her best.
Into their lives comes "Hesher."  An angry troublemaker with the firebug gene.
Note: this character was supposedly patterned after Metallica's Cliff Burton.
Slow moving at times, though generally interesting. The females of the audience hated this film (which they selected), whereas the guys laughed a lot. Probably much more tolerant of males barely housebroken.
Stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Natalie Portman (!).

Metallica enjoyed the film and allowed a batch of songs to be used throughout.

[Vultural]

Anonymous - 2011 - 4/10

Shakespeare never wrote all those plays. Nor poems.
All were penned by Edward de Vere, 17th Earl of Oxford.
Very handsome looking production that methinks doth protest too much.  Or persuades too much.
Typical nonsense from director Roland Emmerich.
His highlights feature: Universal Soldier, Stargate, Independence Day, Godzilla, 2012, 10000 BC.
He can make em glossy, he can make em loud, he can make em preposterous.
With Anonymous, he succeeds on all fronts.
Given extra stars because it really does look terrific.